Baby, Food, And Other Delicious Entities

I recall beginning my previous post with a brief message to the tune of: "It's hard to write with kids in the house, so I'm not gonna." I realize now that I should have stated: "It's hard to write with kids in the house if you don't want to write, so I'm not gonna." That would be much more accurate, because I was frankly quite turned off to the idea of writing, after the emotional trainwreck that was my first set of submissions to literary agents (those 80+ rejections were not good for my sensitive little heart).

And, in truth, I'm still leagues away from wanting to go through that again. At this period in my life, I would rather just write for fun and at my own pace. So, that's what I'm doing. I began this year by writing "The Fickle 8.1: The First Fickle Book Again, But Better" (I am obligated by a blood pact to release a new installment every January), which kinda set me in the direction of wanting to write real stuff again. I've also gotten pretty invested in the podcast "Creepcast" (discussing creepypastas and other internet horror), which has been very educational and inspirational.

After I finished The Fickle, I began (at long last) the fourth rewrite of what has been my big ol' hefty project since sometime in 2020: "Uhyre Means Monster". This book has been eviscerated and Frankenstein-ed back together so many times that it's practically unrecognizable from the first draft. However, I believe I'm now closer than ever to actually putting it out to the world.

This rewrite is heavily focused on "emotional throughlines", which I learned are very important to the success of a story (a lot later than I should have). Needless to say, it's been a difficult task developing crucial character arcs after most of the story has already been written. I've had to "kill a lot of darlings," as they say. On the other hand I have conceived and birthed many other darlings in the process. It's bittersweet, I suppose.

Also, there's been another small development:

Meet Azriel Ruadhan Earendil Appleby, the noisiest baby to ever exist. His hobbies include, but are not limited to: Not sleeping when it's time to sleep, thwacking people in the chin with his giant noggin, and making lots of loud, wet mouth noises. All that aside, he's pretty cute and very strong. Like, shockingly strong. He will beat you in arm-wrestling.

After our first childbirth experience with the traumatic, painful, 36-hour labor, this second one seemed like a piece of cake:

It was two days before our scheduled C-section. My wife and I were chilling on the couch, playing video games. She looked up at me and said, "Huh... I feel weird."

Three hours later, we had a baby.

As for the other little guy (Andy), he's growing up very quickly. He's starting to say very fun words like "No". When he wants to go outside, he says, "Go go." I hand him his shoes, and he says, "Shyoo." When he lets loose a stinky fart, he says, "Ewwww, kinky." He also learned how to climb onto my piano bench, turn my digital piano on, and change the instrument sound, all by himself. We may have a future savant on our hands.

Oh yeah, funny story... we ended up in the ER again last week. I was making Andy some allergen-free pancakes with rice flour, but I didn't double-check my chicken-scratch label and accidentally used "rye flour". Apparently, he's more allergic to gluten than we thought. Some projectile-vomiting and an ambulance ride later, we had a very itchy, puffy toddler pumped full of Benadryl.

I will be writing my labels MUCH clearer from now on.

Here are some pics of the big guy:

As far as the rest of my life goes, I got a promotion at work, so I'm now the "IT Lead." I have a single other employee in my team, and we troubleshoot the heck out of that place. That's pretty much all there is to say about work.

You may recall me mentioning something about remodeling my kitchen in my last post. You won't even believe how much progress I've made on that project. It's almost incomprehensible:

I replaced the soap dispenser.

Anyway, I've actually made a fair amount of progress in my new favorite hobby, cooking. My brother decided that he wanted to get himself a girlfriend, so we see a lot less of him now. Our "cook a dish from every country" challenge is moving at a snail's pace, but that hasn't stopped me from continuing to experiment with food. Here are some of my latest successes (fewer failures than last time, because I got better at it):

Apple Pie

A classic, fully from scratch. I've decided that making things from scratch, while it takes longer, is really worth it in the long run.

Red Chili Pork Tamales

As opposed to last time, I did NOT use an ocean's worth of salt, so they were much better. However, I did forget about the coins I put in the steaming pot (the trick is, when they rattle louder than normal, you're supposed to add more water). However, it didn't cross my mind that when they STOP rattling, it means there's NO water. So, when the timer beeped, I lifted the lid to reveal a couple of charred pennies stuck to the bottom of the steaming pot, amidst a thick, black goo of burnt tamale drippings. As a result, the tamales ended up having a slight smoky aroma, along with the rest of my house.

Cajun Jambalaya

Spicier than I expected, though I suppose the jalapenos and multiple tablespoons of cayenne powder should have clued me in. After the very un-spicy Spicy Peanut Sauce that I mentioned in my last post, I find myself overcompensating in spicy recipes. However, despite my runny nose and flaming tongue, it was pretty good.

Chocolate Hazelnut Yule Log

A Christmas special. It took an entire day to make, but in the end, I think it was worth the time.

Pho

To be honest, this was the first time I'd had pho, so I'm not sure how it compares to restaurant-quality stuff. It also took the whole day to make (because I made the bone broth from scratch), and it was rather oily. Not sure if that's normal. When brainstorming ways to reduce the amount of oil in the broth, I was very close to lighting it on fire (especially since my brother was there to egg me on). Fortunately, my wife talked some sense into me, and I did not end up burning down the house.

That's all I have for you this time. If you're interested in purchasing The Fickle 8.1 (or any book in The Fickle Chronicles), they're dirt cheap and are guaranteed to give you a cocaine-like high. For every book you buy, I make an epic profit of approximately $0.02, so be a good lad and support my next Snickers bar: https://www.amazon.com/Fickle-8-1-First-Better-Chronicles/dp/B0CVDS1QXH/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1A5N5X3353603&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.hVHrkqHqOMVNOSyM9GaIPXSTiCuoCDdAgRc-e7hh-mF4xqTzIiIm7ZAwkbN7DztR3G0zuxo2HCEmMp0sINXMjT4qzACfkdaAHmznvMC61yU.VeO-1rLSVV8c5Bs9WRTpSS88dduHmJCttaXqlZ6UYrk&dib_tag=se&keywords=q+macgenie+the+fickle&qid=1708996359&sprefix=q+macgenie+the+fickle%2Caps%2C245&sr=8-1.

Wow, that's a really long link. Sorry.

Anyways, see you later.

- Tyler