Adult Content

I said in my previous post that I had started writing another book, if you can remember that far back. Unfortunately, I wasn't that into it, and for some reason, having a child makes it awfully difficult to maintain a consistent writing schedule (or any schedule, tbh). In the meantime, I've taken up other pursuits, and oh boy, are they scandalous.

(WARNING: Adult Content ahead)

Firstly, I'm having to re-learn how to do housework. Coming out of college (where I had a tiny little room filled with my things that were all exactly where I wanted them to be), I was not prepared for the deluge of mess in a 1000 sq. ft. house, occupied by two adults, three cats, and one increasingly meddlesome child.

If I can be completely honest, I shunned the idea of "chores" for a while when I first moved in. Cleaning the house was relegated to panicked moments before guests arrived and about every month and a half when I started feeling guilty for living in such a dump. For a while, a lack of motivation and sheer laziness reigned supreme. I think my record for not doing the dishes is 3-4 weeks, and that's not a record I'm proud of.

On a somewhat positive note, however, I have become very learned about the growth cycle of mold.

Suffice (it) to say, my wife and I have finally (like, within the past two months) gotten ourselves into the pattern of doing regular housework and keeping our little place presentable. And in the process of doing that, I found that I do actually care about how my house looks.

*Side note: This is not something I ever thought would happen. I've always been the guy who couldn't give a darn about appearances. But for some reason, having a family has changed all of that. Amazing how a life-changing event will change your life.

Anyway, I've been looking into interior design stuff and observing how other people craft their home's appearance to get ideas for my own. I hate to admit it, but I've even considered getting a Pinterest account (shudder).

On a similar note, I've started remodeling parts of the house (at the moment, just the kitchen), which is going splendidly. Just yesterday, I finished the project of ripping off the '80s flowery wallpaper and painting it a grayish blue. I may show pictures when it's all finished, but for now, I leave it to your imagination.

Now, in the time since I last posted (almost a year ago), I've developed a new hobby. And when I say hobby, I mean HOBBY. In fact (if I may be so bold), I think I may have found my true passion in life: Food.

When I say "Food," I don't really mean eating food (though I do enjoy that, of course), but cooking, baking, and the general development of culinary products. I feel like a stereotypical grandmother, always wanting to cook extravagant meals and make my little dearies eat more than they probably should.

This whole adventure started back in '22, after my first child was born. I took about 3 months off from work, so I had a lot of time on my hands. Thus, quite often, my brother would come over to play video games, watch movies, or do whatever. One day, I had the idea for us to switch it up and cook a meal for fun, since neither of us had really cooked much before (besides Hamburger Helper, Kraft mac and cheese, and the like). Being the try-hards that we are, we decided to make Beef Wellington.

To say that experience was chaotic would be like saying the French Revolution was a "pretty bad time". Amidst my brother and I spitting non-stop innuendos at every opportunity, flour and grease being scattered haphazardly across the kitchen as we raced to grab ingredients we'd forgotten, and the running water to my mobile home community being shut off mid-recipe, we managed to pull through and produce a viable batch of Wellingtons (though we used ground beef instead of tenderloin because I'm poor).

After that success, we tried a few other dishes before deciding that we were going to attempt to "cook our way through the world" and make at least one dish from every country in the world.

Depending on which list you use, that number varies, but I think we're aiming for 192. Last I counted, I believe we're at about 50-60, so we have many more recipes to go, but then again, it's more about the journey than the destination.

And along this journey, I discovered that I have a passion for creating food. There are so many possibilities for what to make (especially after educating myself on a plethora of cultural ingredients and techniques from around the world), which really tickles the creative lobe of my brain. Here are some pictures of the variety of foods we've crafted so far:

The Worst Ones (I'm sure the authentic, traditional dishes aren't terrible, but when we cooked these ones, either our execution or the recipe itself was an epic fail):

Coconut Kaukau (Papua New Guinea)

We learned that one should never mix raw onions and garlic with sweet yams and coconut. Just makes for a mouthful of wretched confusion.

Ikan Sabuko (Grilled Tamarind Fish) with Calamansi-ade - (Timor-Leste)

We'd never worked with tamarind before, and I think the one we picked was not exactly ripe. The Calamansi-ade was good, but the fish was just "sour fish."

Spicy Peanut Sauce w/rice (Benin)

This was the first time we had used a habanero pepper, and we were afraid. So, we soaked it in tequila to remove some of the spice, but we left it in for too long, and it basically became a bell pepper. The sauce ended up tasting like tomato-ey peanut butter.

Chicken Tamales (Mexico)

I once went snorkeling in the Pacific Ocean, and some of the saltwater slipped through my mask and into my mouth. Now, imagine that flavor, but the texture of sand. I think this recipe had the wrong measurements listed for salt and flour, so this ended up being a "beach-faceplant experience."

The Best Ones (I would 100% make these ones again; props to the recipe creators)

Khachapuri (Georgia)

The Georgian cheese-boat: No oars required.

Nasi Lemak (Singapore)

Carmelized anchovies and peanuts, coconut rice, cucumber, and soft-boiled eggs go surprisingly well together. However, we discovered that anchovy breath is on-par with (if not worse than) garlic or onion.

Plokkfiskur (Iceland)

Potatoes, cod, onion, and homemade rye bread. Simple and hearty.

Salmon Sashimi, California rolls, and fried lotus root (Japan)

We ate an entire fillet of raw salmon that night. Felt like a sophisticated Smeagol.

That all being said, food not only gives me a creative outlet, but it's also a great way to share love with the people around me. It may be a bit cheesy to say "food is my love language," but I'm starting to believe that it actually is. After all, what bridges gaps between people better than eating, since we'll all die if we don't?

I think that's all I have for you today. Not sure when I'll speak to you next, but it'll happen eventually. Oh, and before I leave you, I'll provide a few pictures of little Andy (who I can't believe is already trying to stand up on his own):

We got to take an ambulance to the hospital after he had a serious allergic reaction to some unknown substance (gluten or eggs, maybe), and once we arrived, he would not stop trying to throw himself off the bed.